This: IMAGINE HOW MUCH BETTER WE WOULD ALL BE AT LITERALLY EVERYTHING, INCLUDING FIGHTING FOR OUR FUCKING FREEDOM IF WE WEREN’T CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT OUR BODIES AND FACES?!
Eternally grateful for articles like this, calling out a problem that those in heavier bodies can feel the full weight of. It's just as bad as it was in the early 2000's, a time we thought that we had escaped when big butts were acceptable to the general populace. We are going backwards, as a society, in so many ways, and we have to resist with everything we got.
I was a size 12 in middle school and high school in the US, and bullied. This was 84-91. The irony is that it's still smaller than the average American woman, but in an even larger body now thanks to early menopause and PCOS. I have never been accepted and never will be. AND had an overweight man stare me down in a restaurant I was leaving with my son to show me his disgust at my body. He did the full body stare and made sure to get in front of me to make eye contact. *sigh*
Body neutrality is so, so freeing. It's the mindset I keep whenever I'm in the gym, working on functional strength. While the algorithm tries to feed me "ways to build your booty", I'd rather focus on being strong enough to go up and down the stairs, carry groceries, prevent myself from falling, etc. Putting in the work now in my 30s so that 60 or 70-year-old me and beyond can keep moving.
This post is a powerful reminder of so many things.
My sister died at age 49 after 33 years with an eating disorder. Cause of death (officially) was organ failure. Cause of death (truthfully) was 33 years of binge-purge cycling and starvation. She was high up in our government - communications with the Ministry of Health, no less - and she was a writer. After she died, her partner and I published a book made up of her blog posts written during the 14 months between her diagnosis (renal failure) and her death. In it, she wrote, "Imagine if every decision of every day where food is concerned were to trigger a stressful round of mental gymnastics. A simple discussion around going for coffee turns into a complicated negotiation - what size coffee and will there be a temptation with that? How many calories are allowed? All day long, every day, complex calculations rage on... I have often wondered how much of my energy has gone toward trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy, and what I might have done with it had it been directed toward something useful."
I can tell you, she would have been luminous. Incandescent. And she would be beside herself to see how things are ricocheting back now - the ground we are losing - the threats to women's very existence. And she would not have been able to fight because she was in the throes of it herself. BUT IF SHE HAD.. OMG.... and so we must. We cannot let "them" make the rules for how we see, treat, manage, or make choices for our bodies.
Thank you for saying it!!! Our bodies and the way we look are THE LEAST INTERESTING THING about us. Babess we have so much more to offer. I thought exactly the same about the body positivity movement. It was great for its time, but it didnt adress the root cause that it is important to be beautiful.
Thank you for this Jameela ❤️ I also crave seeing and supporting women’s unique artistic expressions, looking forward to checking out the work of artists you mentioned throughout this piece! Appreciate the reference to 90s women’s music too - the earlier eras were not perfect, but as a teen then I’m grateful I saw examples of strong, creative women having a platform in that era 🙏
Anyway, love this as someone who has in adulthood never been smaller than a US size 10/UK size 12, it’s always disheartening when the only narrative is “be a size 0” which isn’t attainable for all frames — and as you point out, even sometimes healthy for those who can achieve it. I’d love to see more representation of women’s bodies being “typical.” I loved how Too Much didn’t put a focus on the protagonist’s body. 🫶🏻
Brilliant, as always, Jameela! Thank you for your wisdom and courage to keep bringing us the truth and introducing us to people we can admire for doing the same.
This: IMAGINE HOW MUCH BETTER WE WOULD ALL BE AT LITERALLY EVERYTHING, INCLUDING FIGHTING FOR OUR FUCKING FREEDOM IF WE WEREN’T CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT OUR BODIES AND FACES?!
Eternally grateful for articles like this, calling out a problem that those in heavier bodies can feel the full weight of. It's just as bad as it was in the early 2000's, a time we thought that we had escaped when big butts were acceptable to the general populace. We are going backwards, as a society, in so many ways, and we have to resist with everything we got.
I was a size 12 in middle school and high school in the US, and bullied. This was 84-91. The irony is that it's still smaller than the average American woman, but in an even larger body now thanks to early menopause and PCOS. I have never been accepted and never will be. AND had an overweight man stare me down in a restaurant I was leaving with my son to show me his disgust at my body. He did the full body stare and made sure to get in front of me to make eye contact. *sigh*
What an asshole. So sorry.
Body neutrality is so, so freeing. It's the mindset I keep whenever I'm in the gym, working on functional strength. While the algorithm tries to feed me "ways to build your booty", I'd rather focus on being strong enough to go up and down the stairs, carry groceries, prevent myself from falling, etc. Putting in the work now in my 30s so that 60 or 70-year-old me and beyond can keep moving.
This post is a powerful reminder of so many things.
Count me in as a new IT girl. I will macrame a bikini bottom out of my pubic hair if I have to. Let's just move the fucking needle.
Yes, Jessica, yes!
SO good... so true... Bravo, Jameela.
My sister died at age 49 after 33 years with an eating disorder. Cause of death (officially) was organ failure. Cause of death (truthfully) was 33 years of binge-purge cycling and starvation. She was high up in our government - communications with the Ministry of Health, no less - and she was a writer. After she died, her partner and I published a book made up of her blog posts written during the 14 months between her diagnosis (renal failure) and her death. In it, she wrote, "Imagine if every decision of every day where food is concerned were to trigger a stressful round of mental gymnastics. A simple discussion around going for coffee turns into a complicated negotiation - what size coffee and will there be a temptation with that? How many calories are allowed? All day long, every day, complex calculations rage on... I have often wondered how much of my energy has gone toward trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy, and what I might have done with it had it been directed toward something useful."
I can tell you, she would have been luminous. Incandescent. And she would be beside herself to see how things are ricocheting back now - the ground we are losing - the threats to women's very existence. And she would not have been able to fight because she was in the throes of it herself. BUT IF SHE HAD.. OMG.... and so we must. We cannot let "them" make the rules for how we see, treat, manage, or make choices for our bodies.
Holy fuck yes yes yes. I really needed to read this today ❤️🔥
Thank you for writing this article. I'm going to read it every morning, or better yet - turn it into a daily meditation or something.
Thank you for saying it!!! Our bodies and the way we look are THE LEAST INTERESTING THING about us. Babess we have so much more to offer. I thought exactly the same about the body positivity movement. It was great for its time, but it didnt adress the root cause that it is important to be beautiful.
Thank you for this Jameela ❤️ I also crave seeing and supporting women’s unique artistic expressions, looking forward to checking out the work of artists you mentioned throughout this piece! Appreciate the reference to 90s women’s music too - the earlier eras were not perfect, but as a teen then I’m grateful I saw examples of strong, creative women having a platform in that era 🙏
I think you'd love Wet Leg. Rhian also gives zero fucks and people are SO annoyed about that! Thank you for another brilliant piece of writing.
Wet Leg is great!
God, I love this. What a freaking breath of fresh air...and so much yes to just living our effing lives.
elbows and toes ARE ridiculous.
Absolutely ADORE this. I very much hope your prediction is right, and we can all relax into being our own weirdo selves.
Anyway, love this as someone who has in adulthood never been smaller than a US size 10/UK size 12, it’s always disheartening when the only narrative is “be a size 0” which isn’t attainable for all frames — and as you point out, even sometimes healthy for those who can achieve it. I’d love to see more representation of women’s bodies being “typical.” I loved how Too Much didn’t put a focus on the protagonist’s body. 🫶🏻
Thank you for this. I found some new women I'm going to research and follow now!
Brilliant, as always, Jameela! Thank you for your wisdom and courage to keep bringing us the truth and introducing us to people we can admire for doing the same.