I’m glad you spoke up - both to her and here to share your experience. It’s another reminder to be firm in demanding the respect we deserve. I’m glad you know your worth enough not to be cut down by this experience. You’re an inspiration, and your willingness to speak up about this may help the rest of us resist our tendency to shrink and stay silent.
Sorry she did this to you and I hope it doesn't make you doubt for a second how much many of us love and value all your advocacy and the beautiful and brilliant human you are
As someone who is recovering from people-pleasing and perfectionism, there are no words to fully convey how much you and your voice MATTER. I haven’t and won’t read this piece—your reflection is where the medicine for us lives. It doesn’t surprise me that you consistently are a target because powerful women scare the shit out of the outdated systems clutching to their power. I used to be an exec creative director in a digital agency run by men and oozing with toxic masculinity — I became one of them to survive. I spent the last six years healing and coming into a healthy relationship with yin energy and myself, and it has completely transformed my relationships, particularly with women. I see so many women still stuck in that diseased patriarchal mindset due to their own wounding. Please don’t ever stop using your voice and platform to speak on this. Grateful for your bravery and the light you shine on the abuse of women in our society. It is helping me and others be bold and vocal, too.
On the plus side I’ve never used sub stack and read your article, definitely want to use this platform now. Thanks for sharing tough words Jameela, I love your raw voice. Criticism is always met with criticism now days rather than people being able to bend or extend their perspective through listening to real experiences.. instead people act on emotions, they feel threats and project when it’s unprovoked.
Thank you so much for talking about the female agents of patriarchy. These are the same women who erroneously think that matriarchy is just patriarchy with women in charge — that it’s still zero-sum, winner take all, only one can rise to the top, heads I win tails you lose bullshit. They can’t fathom that it’s actually about having a more equitable distribution of resources and opportunity, caring in community, coalition governance, and levels of support that accord with need. Because they’ve bought into the lie that it is some sort of unattainable utopia instead of the actual natural f***ing order of the universe. And what is their primary argument to shut down the conversation? “Well, you’re/she’s/it’s not PERFECT.” As if that’s the metric for anything in the world…🙄
Thank you for always being brave enough, and sure enough to speak the truth. They want women to stay in their lane, keep quiet and if we can’t do that, they’re going to make sure we are shamed or demeaned someway. Fuck them and thank you
I’ve essentially quit reading about women outside of their own posts and publications for this exact reason. I’m so proud of you for not only speaking up, as you have for so long, but for directly sharing your concern with her. You may never hear back and that is a shame. But this, this is a wonderful way to speak the truth and encourage her and others to do better. Thank you!
When you say, "I just wish they would join me, rather than try to drag me back down to where patriarchy put us." It reminded me of something Sir Terry Pratchett wrote...
“She reached down and picked a crab out of a bucket. As it came up it turned out that three more were hanging on to it. "A crab necklace?" giggled Juliet.
"Oh, that's crabs for you," said Verity, disentangling the ones who had hitched a ride. "thick as planks, the lot of them. That's why you can keep them in a bucket without a lid. Any that tries to get out gets pulled back. yes, as thick as planks.”
There is a certain type of person - and sorry to say, a certain type of white woman - who cannot believe that a brown woman has the confidence and the audacity to be outspoken, to dream big and think big. And so while it seems like they may not be swinging, the cuts are so paper thin they are harmful regardless.
‘And so while it seems like they may not be swinging, the cuts are so paper thin they are harmful regardless.’ - oh that is good. Such a brilliant analogy and sadly far too true.
I just can’t believe that people behave this way. It’s the antithesis of everything I stand for in all my work of sharing women’s stories. I applaud you more than I can say for calling it out Jameela and Poorna 👏👏
This is not navel gaze-y! Internalized misogyny is what got Trump elected and it cannot be called out enough. As a writer, I notice all the books by women that get slammed by female reviewers for being "too angry." Unconscious envy of women who can raise their voices and critique the systems that hold us back is so destructive. And you nailed it -- women (especially those in the public eye) must be "likable" and "agreeable" before anyone will notice what they DO.
Ok i just forced myself to read the whole thing. The good news is, most people will not get far before moving on. She manages to take a very dynamic (understatement) human being and create a very boring piece. Like a listicle of things you said out of context. Others will think twice before grating her an interview.
How did you get through the whole thing?? My eyes rolled so far back after this one “cat’s paw” quote I couldn’t physically read any more 🤮. What a complete mess.
I always enjoy reading your work (even pieces like this that are more raw), because I never feel talked down to and I think you bring a unique perspective to the things you talk about. Please keep up the great work 🙏 👏👍
First, I wanna say on behalf of all would be white women journalists, I'm sorry we have failed you and the Truth. The Truth, unvarnished of pretense, should be the first priority for anyone calling themselves that. And im glad that you are speaking out again, and that you have not been beaten down and are still fighting and being heard clearly here, if nowhere else. I'm so grateful for Substack and you for giving us access that we don't deserve, and that no one really deserves from someone with you status in your position, even within the preset boundaries you have created. You have sacrificed so much for the betterment and better health of people everyday and everywhere, and of course whomsoever speaks Truth to Power is going to be battered by the powers that be. But you are indefatigably yourself, you have fought for the right and ability to be yourself at all costs and it has cost you and we know and appreciate it. I don't know you and have never met will never meet you but you just carry within yourself the knowledge that i, we, love you, deeply and forever, and with as much grace as you extend outward, we carry towards you . I have long stopped reading interviews of anyone and only watch filmed interviews if I trust the source of the media footage.
You are welcome Dearheart, keep fighting against the dicks and the cunts (gender neutral) and keep doing what your doing. Just saw the newest Wrong Turn Ep, hilarious as per usual! Shine on starlight
None of us are perfect. But that doesn't mean we don't have something to say, and that we can't keep trying to help others along the way. Thank you, Jameela, for being a light in the darkness!
Reminds me of what you said about feeling sorry for the men who spend hours putting your head on some porn stars body. “Are you alright hun” them. You are comfortable with who you are and what you stand for. People like that can’t be. They are after the wrong sort of attention and validation. Bullys get attention that way. It’s fucking sad.
Don’t let that seep into your brilliant head.
Fuck them all.
And also, absolutely, don’t give them any more fodder.
Just write on here for us.
Leave that shit to the Jeremy Kyle loving members of society
This is infuriating. Thank you for calling it out and continuing to be you—in all your power, brilliance, and complexity. Our world needs you and your voice more than ever!
Hoping someone shits their pants in public for promoting laxative nonsense “detox” tea is the best curse I’ve ever heard! Thank you for calling out bullshit in the most poetic way possible.
What a bummer to have to endure that crap from a fellow female. I loved reading your piece on that piece. I deeply appreciate your candor and how open you are about your journey- I think it’s refreshing, makes you relatable, and is inspiring. Unfortunately this ‘gotcha’ mentality of hers seems to be trending especially in social media. I see many accounts making fun of or tearing apart what other accounts say. Some of it is helpful, some of it not. Just keep doing you - we love you for it ❤️
For whatever it’s worth. We contacted her. Told her how I felt. No apology, no retraction. No action. Humanity is worth less than clicks bait I guess.
I’m glad you spoke up - both to her and here to share your experience. It’s another reminder to be firm in demanding the respect we deserve. I’m glad you know your worth enough not to be cut down by this experience. You’re an inspiration, and your willingness to speak up about this may help the rest of us resist our tendency to shrink and stay silent.
That’s all I want. Is to stop the shrinkage! X
Sorry she did this to you and I hope it doesn't make you doubt for a second how much many of us love and value all your advocacy and the beautiful and brilliant human you are
As someone who is recovering from people-pleasing and perfectionism, there are no words to fully convey how much you and your voice MATTER. I haven’t and won’t read this piece—your reflection is where the medicine for us lives. It doesn’t surprise me that you consistently are a target because powerful women scare the shit out of the outdated systems clutching to their power. I used to be an exec creative director in a digital agency run by men and oozing with toxic masculinity — I became one of them to survive. I spent the last six years healing and coming into a healthy relationship with yin energy and myself, and it has completely transformed my relationships, particularly with women. I see so many women still stuck in that diseased patriarchal mindset due to their own wounding. Please don’t ever stop using your voice and platform to speak on this. Grateful for your bravery and the light you shine on the abuse of women in our society. It is helping me and others be bold and vocal, too.
It was the claws comment after setting a boundary
On the plus side I’ve never used sub stack and read your article, definitely want to use this platform now. Thanks for sharing tough words Jameela, I love your raw voice. Criticism is always met with criticism now days rather than people being able to bend or extend their perspective through listening to real experiences.. instead people act on emotions, they feel threats and project when it’s unprovoked.
Thank you so much for talking about the female agents of patriarchy. These are the same women who erroneously think that matriarchy is just patriarchy with women in charge — that it’s still zero-sum, winner take all, only one can rise to the top, heads I win tails you lose bullshit. They can’t fathom that it’s actually about having a more equitable distribution of resources and opportunity, caring in community, coalition governance, and levels of support that accord with need. Because they’ve bought into the lie that it is some sort of unattainable utopia instead of the actual natural f***ing order of the universe. And what is their primary argument to shut down the conversation? “Well, you’re/she’s/it’s not PERFECT.” As if that’s the metric for anything in the world…🙄
Thank you for always being brave enough, and sure enough to speak the truth. They want women to stay in their lane, keep quiet and if we can’t do that, they’re going to make sure we are shamed or demeaned someway. Fuck them and thank you
I’ve essentially quit reading about women outside of their own posts and publications for this exact reason. I’m so proud of you for not only speaking up, as you have for so long, but for directly sharing your concern with her. You may never hear back and that is a shame. But this, this is a wonderful way to speak the truth and encourage her and others to do better. Thank you!
Gutter press
Gutter press
Gutter press
When you say, "I just wish they would join me, rather than try to drag me back down to where patriarchy put us." It reminded me of something Sir Terry Pratchett wrote...
“She reached down and picked a crab out of a bucket. As it came up it turned out that three more were hanging on to it. "A crab necklace?" giggled Juliet.
"Oh, that's crabs for you," said Verity, disentangling the ones who had hitched a ride. "thick as planks, the lot of them. That's why you can keep them in a bucket without a lid. Any that tries to get out gets pulled back. yes, as thick as planks.”
― Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals
Thank you
There is a certain type of person - and sorry to say, a certain type of white woman - who cannot believe that a brown woman has the confidence and the audacity to be outspoken, to dream big and think big. And so while it seems like they may not be swinging, the cuts are so paper thin they are harmful regardless.
Beautifully put bloody hell poorna x
❤️❤️❤️❤️
‘And so while it seems like they may not be swinging, the cuts are so paper thin they are harmful regardless.’ - oh that is good. Such a brilliant analogy and sadly far too true.
This comment wins the internet today!
Do you have any evidence for suggesting the journalist wrote the article this way because she is white and a woman?
I just can’t believe that people behave this way. It’s the antithesis of everything I stand for in all my work of sharing women’s stories. I applaud you more than I can say for calling it out Jameela and Poorna 👏👏
This is not navel gaze-y! Internalized misogyny is what got Trump elected and it cannot be called out enough. As a writer, I notice all the books by women that get slammed by female reviewers for being "too angry." Unconscious envy of women who can raise their voices and critique the systems that hold us back is so destructive. And you nailed it -- women (especially those in the public eye) must be "likable" and "agreeable" before anyone will notice what they DO.
Also your claws??? 🤮🤮🤮
I know. It’s the second time she mentions them in the piece.
“All of which might mean you’d expect her to be prickly company but she’s more cat’s paw than cactus — spikes sheathed in velvet.” 🤢
Good lord. Harold Robbins wants his tripe back. Absolutely revolting overboiled shit.
It's shit writing. Tired cliches.
Ok i just forced myself to read the whole thing. The good news is, most people will not get far before moving on. She manages to take a very dynamic (understatement) human being and create a very boring piece. Like a listicle of things you said out of context. Others will think twice before grating her an interview.
How did you get through the whole thing?? My eyes rolled so far back after this one “cat’s paw” quote I couldn’t physically read any more 🤮. What a complete mess.
I kept hoping it would get better but nope. 7 or 8 minutes I’ll never get back again. Sigh
What the actual…
I always enjoy reading your work (even pieces like this that are more raw), because I never feel talked down to and I think you bring a unique perspective to the things you talk about. Please keep up the great work 🙏 👏👍
Fuck this so very much. You deserve so much better, as do we all. Please keep talking, even though it’s a garbage fire out there.
How do we teach girls not to commit woman-on-woman hate crimes??
By teaching them that were not actually in competition with each other. No matter what the patriarchy tells us.
Check out Sophie Gilbert’s book about how pop culture has fostered female misogyny: https://bookshop.org/p/books/girl-on-girl-how-pop-culture-turned-a-generation-of-women-against-themselves-sophie-gilbert/21683668?ean=9780593656297&next=t
First by teaching them that they are great people?
First, I wanna say on behalf of all would be white women journalists, I'm sorry we have failed you and the Truth. The Truth, unvarnished of pretense, should be the first priority for anyone calling themselves that. And im glad that you are speaking out again, and that you have not been beaten down and are still fighting and being heard clearly here, if nowhere else. I'm so grateful for Substack and you for giving us access that we don't deserve, and that no one really deserves from someone with you status in your position, even within the preset boundaries you have created. You have sacrificed so much for the betterment and better health of people everyday and everywhere, and of course whomsoever speaks Truth to Power is going to be battered by the powers that be. But you are indefatigably yourself, you have fought for the right and ability to be yourself at all costs and it has cost you and we know and appreciate it. I don't know you and have never met will never meet you but you just carry within yourself the knowledge that i, we, love you, deeply and forever, and with as much grace as you extend outward, we carry towards you . I have long stopped reading interviews of anyone and only watch filmed interviews if I trust the source of the media footage.
This is beautiful. Thank you.
You are welcome Dearheart, keep fighting against the dicks and the cunts (gender neutral) and keep doing what your doing. Just saw the newest Wrong Turn Ep, hilarious as per usual! Shine on starlight
None of us are perfect. But that doesn't mean we don't have something to say, and that we can't keep trying to help others along the way. Thank you, Jameela, for being a light in the darkness!
I want to scream for you. I will do so now.
Your writing is brilliant, too. Thank you for uplifting me! Xxx “a paycheck and a pat on the head” sent me!
Reminds me of what you said about feeling sorry for the men who spend hours putting your head on some porn stars body. “Are you alright hun” them. You are comfortable with who you are and what you stand for. People like that can’t be. They are after the wrong sort of attention and validation. Bullys get attention that way. It’s fucking sad.
Don’t let that seep into your brilliant head.
Fuck them all.
And also, absolutely, don’t give them any more fodder.
Just write on here for us.
Leave that shit to the Jeremy Kyle loving members of society
🙏🏻❤️.
This is infuriating. Thank you for calling it out and continuing to be you—in all your power, brilliance, and complexity. Our world needs you and your voice more than ever!
Hoping someone shits their pants in public for promoting laxative nonsense “detox” tea is the best curse I’ve ever heard! Thank you for calling out bullshit in the most poetic way possible.
You’re brave, sensitive, charismatic, and brown. You scare the insecurity out of people 😂.
What a bummer to have to endure that crap from a fellow female. I loved reading your piece on that piece. I deeply appreciate your candor and how open you are about your journey- I think it’s refreshing, makes you relatable, and is inspiring. Unfortunately this ‘gotcha’ mentality of hers seems to be trending especially in social media. I see many accounts making fun of or tearing apart what other accounts say. Some of it is helpful, some of it not. Just keep doing you - we love you for it ❤️
I’ve followed you for years and this piece of brilliance is what just added me to your paid subscribers!