Answering your personal questions.

(VERY HONESTLY!)

I promised my subscribers, that I would make sure this was a community page, where you can submit topics. So I shall start this year, marking about two months of me being on this app, by doing so!

My answers are going to be unfiltered, and representative of how I feel at this moment. My opinions are subject to change, because my outlook is malleable, because that is the only sensible way to live. I am always open to your alternative view points in the comments, and look forward to us challenging each other without combat/judgement/superiority at the helm.

Jumping in at the deep end:

Q.)

How can we handle the dilemma between not wanting to follow diet culture and taking care of ourselves? I have my family telling me I'm fat and I try no to pay attention to it but I also feel I should be more healthy. I always find it difficult to know if I want to do something for myself or just because everyone else is telling me.

A.)

A minefield. I’m so glad you asked. I have been wrestling with this for years and have at long last come to what feels like a sound conclusion. For me at least.

(First, and foremost, please tell your family, from me, to fuck off. Shame has never lead to long term desired results of anything. Even shaming racism and misogyny hasn’t lasted! It’s all back! I urge you to strictly forbid your family from commenting on your size ever again, otherwise you should withdraw your presence around them, until they meet you at this very fair demand. Nobody is a walking MRI scan, and nobody can know your health status just by looking at you.)

Before we start, I also need to clarify that weight and health are not always indicators of one another, so a person’s comment on your appearance, being what kicks you into gear about your actual health, feels like a tricky and stressful place to start from.

I am just going to focus on your actual health here:

I have built my new philosophy from a background of having had anorexia for twenty years, and then working extensively within the “fat-liberation” “body neutrality” and “anti diet culture” communities ever since. I’m so grateful to the work these groups have done, and can confirm they have absolutely saved my life. But it’s also important to note, having swung on the pendulum from one side all the way to the other, that I can confirm, we live in a world of binary extremes online, where it is easy to feel like if you have a moderate opinion on truly anything, there is nowhere for you to belong. This even extends to nutrition. It is tedious, and unrealistic. The right answer is normally somewhere within the grey.